THE FIELD
MEET THE PLAYERS
Fourteen golfers. Questionable handicaps. One jacket.
Sean Duffy
MEMBER #0184 | GA HCP 34.5
"John Daily"
CO-FOUNDER
Serving as the visionary behind the Offcut Open, Sean is often compared to John Daly, though usually by those with failing eyesight at dusk. Known for wielding his putter with a terrifying level of swagger, he claims his handicap is the product of absolute fair play and zero creative accounting. Given his role in founding the event, critics have frequently pointed to a blatant conflict of interest. Sean has dutifully conducted an internal probe into these claims, found himself completely innocent, and officially closed the
matter.
Player Warning: Compliment one putt and you will hear about it for the remainder of the weekend.
Championship Outlook: Home-ground advantage without actually having home-ground advantage. Elite with the putter, questionable everywhere else, and conveniently close to the people who make the rules.
Shane Watson
MEMBER #6241 | GA HCP 00.0
"The Cowboy"
Quietly sneaks under the radar, says very little, then somehow puts together a great round while everyone else is falling apart.
Also known to wear cowboy boots, which raises more questions than it answers.
Shane doesn’t need the attention. He just quietly hangs around while the rest of the field self-destructs.
Player Warning: Silence should not be mistaken for weakness. Neither should the cowboy boots.
Championship Outlook: The ultimate dark horse. While everyone else is busy losing their minds, The Cowboy could quietly walk away with the trophy.
Kane Scougall
MEMBER #2297 | GA HCP 00.0
"The Freindly Bikie"
Somehow secured an official handicap of 22, a decision currently under review by several independent governing bodies.
Owns a rangefinder worth more than most people’s golf clubs and is famously calm on the course.
Looks like he could collect a debt at lunchtime and help you move house that afternoon.
Behind the intimidating exterior is possibly the calmest golfer in the field.
Player Warning: Do not question the handicap. Do not question the rangefinder. Probably best not to question Kane at all.
Championship Outlook: Calm, heavily equipped and suspiciously well handicapped. The Friendly Bikie could be a serious problem.
Glen Webster
MEMBER #083 | GA HCP 00.0
"The Barefoot Commissioner"
Mr Positive. Mr Good Energy. Mr Absolutely Certain That Rule Was Changed Recently.
Expected to be the best-dressed man on the course, although there’s every chance the shoes come off by the 2nd so he can earth himself.
Glen has absolutely no concept of time. If tee-off is at 8:00, Glen sees that more as a rough indication of when golf might begin.
He’ll wander in eventually, perfectly relaxed, looking sharp and genuinely confused as to why everyone else seems so stressed.
Player Warning: Avoid riding shotgun. Glen considers looking at the buggy path a distraction and prefers prolonged eye contact with his passenger while travelling at full speed.
Championship Outlook: Has never technically broken a rule of golf. He has, however, interpreted several of them spiritually.
Dan Felber
MEMBER #061 | GA HCP 00.0
"The Poster Boy"
Calm and calculated by nature, Daniel doesn’t rush shots. He studies them.
Sometimes for long enough that nearby wildlife begins to trust him.
His knowledge of the Rules of Golf is extensive and will be made available to competitors whether requested or not.
Daniel is also the unofficial face of Brute. Brute hasn’t returned our calls.
Then there’s the beard. Daniel once teed off clean shaven and finished 18 holes with a full beard.
Player Warning: Do not ask Daniel a rules question unless you have sufficient time available for the answer.
Championship Outlook: Calm, calculated and annoyingly knowledgeable. A genuine threat if the beard doesn’t affect his aerodynamics.
John Cotter
MEMBER #3058 | GA HCP 31.9
“Driver Whisperer”
CO-FOUNDER
John Cotter is expected to take the Offcut Open extremely seriously.
Possibly more seriously than the Offcut Open deserves.
Calm under all circumstances, John operates at exactly one pace.
His pace.
It does not increase because the group behind is waiting. It does not decrease because everyone else has stopped for a beer.
John simply continues.
His knowledge of the Rules of Golf is believed to rival Daniel Felber’s, setting up the terrifying possibility of the two of them discussing a free-drop ruling while the remaining 12 players slowly die of old age.
Then there’s the golf swing.
John hits the ball with the raw explosive power of a pensioner trying not to aggravate his lower back.
But what he lacks in violence, he makes up for in conversation with his equipment.
John has been known to quietly whisper to his driver before important shots.
Nobody knows what he says.
Nobody wants to know.
Player Warning: Do not rush John. Time has no authority here.
Championship Outlook: Calm, serious and completely immune to pressure. If the tournament lasts long enough, John may simply outlive the field.
Jerrod Davis
MEMBER #0524 | GA HCP 00.0
"The Lean Machine"
More than 25 years after his historic and largely undocumented domination of the 1998 Woden Pitch & Putt circuit, Jerrod Davis returns to competitive golf.
This time, he’s coming in with a wing under repair.
As 4Site’s leader of Lean Manufacturing, Jerrod has spent years eliminating waste, improving efficiency and developing better processes.
Unfortunately, none of these principles have successfully transferred to his golf game.
Normally calm and calculated, Jerrod can occasionally reach a point where the entire round is declared non-conforming and production is shut down for the day.
There is no tantrum.
Just a quiet assessment of the situation, followed by:
“Yeah, I’m done.”
He is also known to drive a golf cart like Miss Daisy — cautious, deliberate and at a speed that allows local insects to overtake safely.
Player Warning: If Jerrod starts describing his swing as a “process issue”, the round may already be over.
Championship Outlook: The shoulder is questionable. The cart speed is appalling. But you simply cannot ignore the pedigree of an undefeated 1998 Woden Pitch & Putt Champion.
Elliott McLean
MEMBER #0882 | GA HCP 00.0
"The Maritime Golfer"
Possesses a slice with such conviction that any body of water on the right-hand side of the course is immediately in play.
Pond. Creek. Dam. Ocean.
If there’s water over there, Elliott will find it.
Lifeguards have been placed on standby and local marine authorities have been advised of increased golf-ball activity.
Player Warning: Spectators positioned to the right of the tee do so entirely at their own risk.
Championship Outlook: A genuine wildcard. If he can keep the ball on dry land for 36 holes, The Maritime Golfer could surprise the field.
Mark Clements
MEMBER #047 | GA HCP 00.0
"The Yass Adonis"
Widely regarded as the best-looking bloke to ever come out of Yass. Admittedly, a shallow talent pool.
Best hair in the field and 4Site’s undisputed greatest drummer.
Mark’s golf philosophy is refreshingly simple:
If you can see the hole, you can putt it.
Fringe. Fairway. Rough. 90 metres out.
Putter.
Player Warning: Never suggest a wedge when the putter is technically an option.
Championship Outlook: Unpredictable with the clubs. Unbeatable with the hair.
Steve Carey
MEMBER #5724 | GA HCP 00.0
"The Professional"
Every championship needs a villain.
Unfortunately, ours has started doing homework.
Steve enters the Offcut Open as the number one ranked golfer in the field, carrying the lowest handicap and a deeply concerning level of preparation.
While everyone else is relying on positive thinking, Steve is studying course flyovers and gathering intelligence from a Burns Club Pro with direct family connections to Gerringong.
He appears to have built a small intelligence network around what was supposed to be a social golf weekend.
Player Warning: If you see Steve quietly staring at Gerringong from a nearby hill with binoculars, leave him alone. The Professional is working.
Championship Outlook: Calm. Clinical. Prepared. The man to beat — and the target is firmly on his back.
Petar Brusic
MEMBER #0417 | GA HCP 30.2
"Greenkeepers Nightmare"
THE secretary
A man whose golf shoes have done more damage to putting surfaces than most core aerators.
Petar doesn’t simply read greens. He leaves a permanent record of having visited them.
Greenkeepers at both courses have been notified and additional repair equipment is expected to be on standby.
Petar is also an early favourite in the unofficial race with Aidan Rosewarn to see who can completely lose their mind first.
Player Warning: Please inspect the putting surface after Petar leaves. There may be additional spike marks, emotional damage or both.
Championship Outlook: Capable of anything. If he can keep his temper under control and the greens remain playable, The Greenkeeper’s Nightmare could make some noise.
Josh Fielding
MEMBER #9143 | GA HCP 00.0
"The Little General"
The smallest man in the field, but quite possibly the largest competitor in the pack.
As a devoted Manly supporter, Josh possesses exactly the level of confidence you’d expect.
Which is to say, far more than the situation generally warrants.
Josh doesn’t dislike losing.
He fucking hates it.
He also has an excellent understanding of the Rules of Golf — particularly the sections involving free relief, where his knowledge becomes remarkably detailed whenever his own ball is involved.
If there’s a sprinkler head, cart path or unusual patch of grass somewhere in the postcode, Josh will find a rule that deserves further investigation.
Player Warning: Never celebrate early and never question his free relief unless you’re prepared for a full hearing.
Championship Outlook: Small frame. Huge competitor. Absolutely hates losing. If The Little General gets anywhere near the lead, expect him to become completely unbearable
Craig Greenwood
MEMBER #4386 | GA HCP 00.0
"The Keto King"
The pensioner of the group — although you wouldn’t know it from the skin.
Craig has spent years surviving almost entirely on protein, healthy fats and what we can only assume is an industrial quantity of moisturiser.
Then there’s the black iron. Nobody remembers Craig buying it. It just appeared one day. We believe it chose him.
Craig is rarely seen on a golf course without his new best friend Mitch, and there are legitimate concerns about separation anxiety.
Player Warning: If found wandering the course calling Mitch’s name, please return him to the nearest golf cart.
Championship Outlook:
Written off by the younger field at their own risk. The Keto King has experience, moisturised joints and a black iron that nobody fully understands.
Aidan Rosewarn
MEMBER #8063 | GA HCP 00.0
"The Emotional Teenager"
A genuine Championship threat — provided he can keep his emotions together for 18 holes.
One drive can make you believe you’re witnessing the birth of something special. The next can leave at 90 degrees and turn the birth into a funeral.
The language changes immediately. Clubs become nervous. People stop making eye contact.
His biggest competition may not even be on the leaderboard. Aidan and Pete Brusic are currently locked in a battle to see who can completely lose their mind first.
Player Warning: Between Pete and Aidan, the swear jar is expected to become the Offcut Open’s largest source of revenue. Several international charities have already expressed interest.
Championship Outlook: Could win the entire thing on a good day. The challenge is keeping him on the course long enough to have one.